This is a diagram I drew in class last January. I was relating an observation about life and more specifically discipleship in the exurbs. Here’s the gist of it.

*Built on the 1/3′s life model (1st Third – Formation; 2nd Third – Productive Time; 3rd Third – Giving Back)

*The first third for the most part are years where people are receiving and learning to give.

*Giving often goes hyper in the 18-25 age group as people are learning, passionate, free…and don’t have many obligations.

*They have time

….. (Let’s Fast Forward)

*After 55 (roughly) people have time again. The kids are gone + they have a lifetime of experience

*This group is often more financially stable

*They are often retiring soon…again they have space.

*They can be discipled and hopefully disciple others.

….. (What I’ve Come To Grow Deeply Concerned About)

THE LUMP!

*25-55: Mortgage(s).Careers.Kids.Soccer.Dance.Acting.School.Family.Friends(sometimes).
Football.Basketball.Cheerleading.Gymnastics.Trying to get a Workout in. Multiple Jobs.ETC.

*Oh yeah, church…which in the 21st century world most often = events

*Church events (worship, small groups, fellowship, retreats, mission trips)

*Those in The Lump…don’t have or don’t make the time. There is no space to be in a community no margin for time or often for giving of resources.

*At best what is most often happening is drive-through or 1 hour church which is far from discipleship.
Usually the worship gathering is all people give the community and discipleship isn’t happening.

*To be honest I’m not sure what what’s happening…what we are replicating/making.

…

What do you think? We batted this around in class for a while.

Are my fears real? If so how do we turn it around?

If we don’t, the suburbs/exurbs are lost.

 

 

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As part of evaluating the strangers and barbarians in their midst, the missional community looks for opportunities to get to know them better. A great way to extend this “get to know you” phase beyond the surface or beyond what can be gleaned over coffee or even a meal is to follow the model of St. Patrick and find a place of service around a common cause. In either instance, meeting to get know each other or serving together, the idea is that there is a safe place for the process of freedom can happen.

As the guest is invited into the life of the individual or the community, more time is spent together. The stranger or barbarian gets to see how a Christian or a Christian community lives, works, thinks and worships. It is in this time that questions can be asked and matters of faith can be brought forward.

And finally as the newfound friends makes the decision, after what may be a long period of time, to follow Christ they are now family and should be treated as such. Here, I believe, needs to be an, for lack of a better term, initiation moment or process. This could be simply a communal celebration of baptism or maybe even a catechism process. One way or another the new family member and the community need to know that there is someone new at the table who has undergone a fundamental change in their identity. They are not what they were. At one point they were foreign to the community but now they are the closest of kin; they are a brother or sister who have a seat at the table. They come bringing their stories and their gifts, talents and resources to be offered up to the community and to Chris for the advancement of the Kingdom there!

Much of this process could and should be built around the sharing of meals. The table should be a safe place – an equalizer. The guest should get the full attention of the host which may possibly be even more important that the food. With new guests this should happen regularly as it provides for space to get to know each other.

There are two major pitfalls that have become apparent in considering going forward in this light. One is that the missional community takes into the exurb the idea that they are offering hospitality as the world offers it. Hospitality is not an event or a medium by which people are made comfortable to move them to a desired end. Hospitality for the community must be bound in creating space for God to work in the life of the guest; the community does not create the change. God does.

When thinking about worldly versions of hospitality, the missional community must be sure that it as well does not come off as just another entrepreneurial entity that is set on winning clients in the exurbs. The goal is not to get people to be a part of the club or come to the event or serve for their goals. The goal is to open our lives up to others in the sincere desire that they may become more fully human in our eyes and that they may know our God more fully.

The second pitfall is that as missional communities transition to a stance where hospitality is a way of life, its members must realize what the vision is. They must understand what it means to be hospitable. If they don’t, some will never open up their lives because there notions of hospitality will be stuck in outdated ideas or misconstrued notions of what it means to be hospitable. They may be leery of opening up to others because they believe they are expected to provide an event. They must know that the food is enough and that the goal is to just help people end up in the family.

Finally, the act of hospitality must be framed for what it is. It is not just a service or a characteristic. It is worship. For centuries our worship gatherings have been framed by a liturgy an order to what we are doing but the word liturgy actually means “the works of the people.” Liturgy is the community bringing its gifts to honor the King. When we go out and serve and open up our hearts, lives and homes we are serving. When we do this as a community we are bringing our gifts together. Maybe we could say we are bringing our works together. We are creating worship. Recognizing that every person is sacred maybe this is what James meant when he said, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” (James 1:27 NLT) The true pure religious activity is to work together with the people.

I believe this is the call of the community. This is what moves them from just being a community to being a missional community. It is a commitment to serve their neighbors by embracing a lifestyle of hospitality. By taking a stance with a community that is open, vulnerable and available, each individual then as part of the missional whole, gets to participate in bringing the Kingdom to the exurbs and to truly worship our God.